Fear – a limitation set to keep us from going beyond our comfort zone. At times, it may even keep us from achieving success. For that reason, failure is closely associated with fear. The expectations that others may have for us or that we might have for ourselves, can get in the way of rational thinking– leading to self-sabotage.
How Can We Manage Our Fears?
Recognize the fear – We can try to quiet our minds and notice what types of thoughts are there and why. Our internal monologues should be turned off when it’s no longer supporting us. We can ask ourselves:are these thoughts coming from a place of intuition?
We may also turn to breathing exercises or journaling to bring our minds to awareness.
Embrace that our “worst-case” scenario generally doesn’t happen… – but when it does be prepared. There’s times when the building does catch on fire and it’s not a drill or there’s an active shooter. People are socialized into panicmode, instead of practicing handling the situation efficiently.
Face the reality of the outcomes – Making plans are a necessary a part of being effective but when it comes to actions leave ALLexpectations at the door. We’ve already practiced accomplishing what we set out to do; all we can hope for is that our habits have contributed to success and if not, there’s more work ahead. We must congratulate ourselves on the progress we’ve made! It’s unnecessary to beat ourselves up for what’s outside of our control. We can always plan again if the outcome we reached is not satisfactory to us.
Cultivate Self-love and Self-respect – Self-love and self-respect is never given but always taken. Doors start flying open or close when our inner expression is that of putting our needs first. This takes time to develop and there’s much to be explored / discovered about what we love and respect about ourselves. The joke is that it was waiting for us the whole time!
Move fear out of the way– only then are we able to be our best selves!
Two weeks from now I’ll be putting on my cap and gown. I cringe everytime the word congratulations is thrown at me because there’s a cliffhanger of uncertainty about the rest of my life. Somehow I don’t feel like How To Make It In America prepared me enough for what’s to come (sidebar: a movie or third season would be clutch Mark Wahlberg).
It’s getting closer to that time for me to encounter to a harsher reality. I can vividly remember reading a rather delightful article on the joys of student loans a while back, which life has given me a crash course on already. Being a Brooklynite, I already know struggle is real(er) in NY when I move back.
The beauty of all this is being able to laugh at these situations before they actually hit me. I randomly checked out a web series called Clench & Release in which comedian and all-around good dude Kevin Iso has a cameo. It couldn’t paint a better picture of the life I will have to get used to.
The series follows Charla Lauriston’s woes of being a struggling stand-up comedian. Her encounters are everything from a homeless guy offering her cocaine to a man masturbating on a subway platform, which is NYC at its best. I let out a sigh of relief thinking I won’t be alone riding out my twenties being broke and wanting to find love (& messing it all up in the process). It was refreshing because I haven’t been entertained by a YouTube series since Awkward Black Girl went on hiatus. C&R was a good segue.
Being in your 30s is clarity. The 20s is confusion, sex, confusion, booze, drugs, more sex, bad decisions, good decisions, more confusion
Since I’m climbing out the small window from my age to 30, there’s a lot of pressure not to mess up anything else. So until I take my flight back home in the summer, I’ll enjoy the last hours spent sitting through pointless lectures, procrastinating homework, and getting to boogie by myself– because even though I’ve grasped many lessons, I fathom this is just the beginning. *cues MGMT*